Passion, Purpose and an Ah-Ha Moment – Part 1 Passion

Iowa, Color the Wind Festival

Iowa, Color the Wind Festival

On Jan. 26 Otto posted a thought-provoking article titled Pursuing Passion. After reading it, and giving it a lot of thoughts, I started feeling uneasy. What qualifies something as a person’s passion? Do I have a passion? I left Otto a message: Is it possible some people don’t have a dream?

Growing up in Taiwan, before attending college, I was expected of, by my parents, one thing only: study hard, so I would be able to pass the entry examination in order to get into a good junior high school, 3 years later high school and another 3 years later college. My dad got a job out of town when I was 5. I started writing to him as soon as I learned how to write and I enjoyed it. In high school, my teacher sent several of my class assignments to a regional newspaper and several got published. I knew writing wasn’t hard for me, but I didn’t know what that meant. When my dad told me to select a science major in college instead of my original idea of journalism, I agreed without struggling. The truth is that I had no idea what I liked to do at that moment (The only to-do thing for me for many years was trying to get into a college, remember?)

When my daughter was senior in high school, thinking of all the free time I was going to have when she left home, I started writing and soon I realized I couldn’t stop. Writing made me happy. I studied, and wrote after work until 1 or 2 am. I thought about my stories while driving, eating… I have passion in writing, I finally could announce to the world.

I told my mom that I had to publish a book before I die; otherwise I would consider my life was totally wasted. In 2009, I self-published Jin-Ling’s Two Left Feet; I was happy and satisfied. But soon, my satisfaction faded away. When one reader came to me telling me how much she liked my book, I was grateful but deep down I wasn’t as happy as I thought I would be. What was going on? Isn’t that what authors dreaming of – readers liking their book? I felt something was missing, but I had no idea what.

Several years later, I decided to learn videotaping and photographing. Like when I was learning writing, I was, again, enthusiastic. I watched tutorial videos up to 1 or 2 am day after day; I read books; took workshop. I have a new passion and that’s photographing, I thought to myself.

Less than 2 years later, one day, I realized that if I don’t take any photo or work on any photo for a week or two (or longer?), it’s all right with me. What does this means? Could it be that photographing is not my passion anymore? Some people have problem holding onto a job, and I have problem holding onto a passion?

(To be continued… to avoid a long post. 😉

Posted in photo and thoughts | 41 Comments

5 Day Black and White Challenge – Day 5

Last day of my “5 Day Black and White Challenge”! Time flies! Again, the rules are: (1) publish a black and white photo every day for 5 days (2) invite someone to participate each day.

I would like to invite Adhika from Lo and behold to participate the challenge. I not only enjoy seeing Adhika’s photos, but also learn a lot from reading his blog. I like how he explains his photo to us and I appreciate some extra knowledge he shared. You will like his blog too, I am 100% sure.

I want to thank Lois for inviting me and thank all who participated. And thank to all readers.

I want to end this challenge with a special photo: a picture of a home… even though it is someone else’ home.

Hoopers Island (?)

Hoopers Island (?)

Posted in photo | 34 Comments

Cee’s Black & White Challenge: Things Found in a Kitchen

Cee’s Black & White Challenge: Things Found in a Kitchen

I tried to find something in our kitchen to take a picture of; it was harder than I thought. Well, two things attracted me the most turned out to be the garbage (orange peel on top of ground coffee) and our refrigerator wall. 😉

garbage2s

ref

Posted in Cee’s Black & White Challenge, photo | 5 Comments

5 Day Black and White Challenge – Day 4

I can’t believe it is already the fourth day of my “5 Day Black and White Challenge”. Again, the rules are: (1) publish a black and white photo every day for 5 days (2) invite someone to participate each day.

I would like to invite Roberta from Words like Honey to participate the challenge. Roberta is someone I would like to hang out with. She is warm, and talented. We can do a lot of fun things together, I am sure!

Last year when we visited Chesapeake Bay area, we saw a man cast-net fishing. It was the first time seeing this for all 5 of us. I bet the guy had never dreamed that one day he would become a superstar — four cameras aimed at him, trying to catch his every movement. 😉

Netting Minnow (31)s

Posted in photo | 42 Comments

Happy Chinese New Year!

Two years after I retired, I am relaxed enough to celebrate a Chinese New Year. I cleaned the house, washed bed sheets (we do clean the house, wash bed sheets often, in case you wonder. 😉 It’s just that this time, it is done for the New Year.) and I made a year cake, dumplings, and buns.

dumpling

year cake

Chinese New Year makes me think of family and home; I can smell the homemade sausages, salty pork, sweet and soft year cake, and see children wearing new clothes running up and down the streets playing, shouting and laughing.

The preparation started a week before the New Years day. Mom would buy several fresh pork hams from the meat market and cut some into big slices and the rest into one-inch chunks. She marinated the meat in soy sauce, five-spices and some special Chinese liquor. Those 95% proof stuff, when you place a drop in your mouth, it stings and then evaporates instantly. If you take a sip, it burns like fire. I didn’t like that liquor, but the marinated meat, on the other hand, smelled like heaven.

Mom cleaned the pork casing and tightened a knot at one end. She then stuffed the small chunks of meat into casings to make sausages. She hung the sausages and big slices of marinated pork in the yard on a bamboo post. We, the kids, took turn to poke holes through sausages with a sewing needle, so when sausages dried up under the sun, the fat would drip down through the holes to the ground. The tiny popping sounds from poking sausages were, somehow, quite satisfactory and the smell of soy sauce mixed with the liquor was mouthwatering.

Washing the sliding doors, on the other hand, was an unwelcome chore. We lived in a Japanese style house that had many sliding doors. The bottom half of the door was a piece of solid wood, but the top was divided into 12 small squares by several half-inch wide wood pieces running both horizontally and vertically, and was glued on a piece of rice paper. We didn’t replace the rice paper every year; we only replaced it when we couldn’t glue another layer of rice paper on top of the existing one. So, when it was time to wash the doors, we had to deal with 4 layers of yucky glues and papers and they were difficult to come off. I didn’t like that job at all.

The week before New Years day was also the time to make year cake. The year cake was made out of sweet rice flours. Since sweet rice flours were not available in the market back then, we had to grind the rice ourselves. The grinder had 2 huge pieces of round stones. The top one had a handle so people could hold on to it and turn it around, and it also had a hole to allow you to add water. When the top stone was turning around, the rice between the two stones was ground into flour. Not many families could afford a grinder, so we had to wait for our turn. As soon as we got the grinder, we hurriedly made the cake because there were other families waiting to make theirs.

Steaming the cake was something else. The cake was usually 15 inches in diameter and 3 to 4 inches high. It took forever to be fully cooked and if you mistakenly took the cake off the heat before it was done, the cake would be ruined. We steamed our cake in the yard. Mom had to make sure the fire was not extinguished before the cake was done.

While Mom was busy making sausages and year cake, my siblings and I were having fun playing with neighbor’s kids. We went to movies, or played hide and seek in the yard. While we were not watching, Mom managed to buy some small tangerines, candies and cookies, and hid them in the house so we wouldn’t start eating them before the New Years day.

New Years Eve was one of the busiest days for Mom. She got up early in the morning so she could beat other housewives to buy fresh meat, vegetables and fruits. New Year’s Eve dinner consisted of 7 or 8 dishes. There were lion’s-head (meat balls cooked with Chinese cabbage), stewed beef and eggs (beef and egg cooked in soy sauce), deep fried eggplant stuffed with ground pork and many other dishes. Ever year Mom prepared a fish dish, but the fish wouldn’t make it to the dinner table. Since the sound of “fish” is similar to the sound of Chinese character for “more than enough”, every family saved their fish dish until after the New Year. People believed that by doing so, they would have something extra year after year.

At New Year’s Eve dinner Dad would dip a chopstick into his liquor and let us taste it. It was after we started college, we were allowed to have a glass of plum wine. But good food and wine were not important for kids. We swallowed our dinner as fast as we could and excused ourselves from the table to join our friends for another round of hide and seek. Of course, we had waited for Mom and Dad nod their heads saying that we could leave.

By 11 PM, the hide and seek game was over. Chinese believed that if the kids stayed up until the midnight on New Years Eve, their parents would live longer. In order to keep us awake, Dad would start playing the head-or-tail game with us. He gave us each 20 quarters. We place a bet on either head or tail while he spun a coin. If we guessed right, we won more quarters, but if we were wrong, we would lose the ones that we had bet on. I hated losing, so I usually quit early. No matter how Dad tried to encourage me, I simply would not play. Still, I had great fun watching they play. At 12 o’clock sharp, the game was over. We said “Happy New Year” to Mom and Dad and received a red envelope containing lucky money. Most of the kids would agree with me that getting the lucky money was the highlight of the Chinese New Year.

The sound of fireworks started around 4 o’clock in the morning on New Year ’s Day. By 5 o’clock, it became nonstop. As soon as the sky turned a little bright, we would jump out of the bed, put on our new clothes and ready to go out. I loved the smell of the fireworks. It was the smell of the New Year, I was convinced. The fireworks went on for 3 days.

By 8 or 9 o’clock, we gathered all the kids in our neighborhood. Together, we visited every family in the neighborhood, wishing them Happy New Year, and every family, in return, gave us treats like candies, dried fruits and drinks.

Visiting all the families in the neighborhood took about 2 hours. By lunchtime, the visiting was over for the kids, and it was then the adults’ turn to visit friends. Although friends’ visiting lasted three to five days, I always felt the New Year celebration was over by the noon of New Year’s Day. Sometime we started a firework war by throwing a firework to each other. We threw, ran, and prayed that we had more fireworks than our opponents.

Jan. 15 officially marks the end of the Chinese New Year. It is also Lantern Festival. All the kids in the neighborhood would carry a paper lantern with a burning candle in it. Those lanterns looked gorgeous in the dark. Sometime, we hung the lanterns on a tree and played another round of hide and seek. After the game, we each went home and had a bowl of sesame dumplings. Sadly, that was the end of the Chinese New Year celebration.

Gradually, we, Chinese in America, lost our tradition in celebrating Chinese New Year. Most people in my generation don’t even know how to make Chinese sausages. “At least, we have memories,” we comfort ourselves. But, are memories alone enough to pass on to the next generation?

Posted in Memoir | 35 Comments

5 Day Black and White Challenge – Day 3

This is the third day of my “5 Day Black and White Challenge”. Again, the rules are: (1) publish a black and white photo every day for 5 days (2) invite someone to participate each day.

I would like to invite Sue from Brick House to participate the challenge. I have never met Sue, but in my mind she is like one of my neighbors. Sue is warm, easy to talk to and someone I can trust. It’s interesting how we get to know people from visiting their blogs. (Sue, I hope you will accept the invitation. But if you can’t, it’s okay. I understand.)

Since today is Chinese New Year’s Day, I would share a photo of my grant niece with her grandpa. Vanessa loved to play with grandpa when she was little.

(I wish I didn’t rush taking the photo. I wish I knew my camera more at the time… nothing I can do now. )

JohnV2_edited-1s

Posted in photo | 15 Comments

5 Day Black and White Challenge – Day 2

This is the second day of my “5 Day Black and White Challenge”. Again, the rules are: (1) publish a black and white photo every day for 5 days (2) invite someone to participate each day.

I would like to invite Tree from Conversations Around the Tree to participate the challenge. Tree is a person with a big soft heart. Everyone loves Tree!

Today, I want to share a lotus flower photo, which I took last year at Kenilworth Park in Maryland. Their Lotus & Water Lily Cultural Festival is excellent.

A - Lotus 荷 (44)s2

Posted in photo | 33 Comments

5 Day Black and White Challenge – Day 1

I want to thank Lois from On Pets and Prisoners for inviting me to join the “5 Day Black and White Challenge”. The rules are: (1) publish a black and white photo every day for 5 days (2) invite someone to participate each day.

First, I would like to invite Amy from The World is a Book to join us for the challenge. Amy shares not only great photos, but also a lot of wisdom words. When Amy speaks, I feel, the world becomes quiet because everyone wants to listen.

What can I say about Lois? She is a lovely lady who has a wonderful sense of humor. Whenever I see her name in my READER, I smile, and hurry to go to read her post. Through her blog, I’ve gotten to know some prisoners’ stories and learned that we all deserve a second chance.

Lois’ first photo is about water. I decide to follow the leader. I took this photo at Ocean City, Maryland. The boy was 30 feet away from the ocean (I don’t know where that pool of water came from.) He seemed enjoying the moment.

I think… if I’ve included people in distant background, it would be a better photo. Agree?

P1000106s

Posted in photo | 25 Comments

Cee’s Odd Ball Photo Challenge: 2015 Week #7

Cee’s Odd Ball Photo Challenge: 2015 Week #7

On our way to the city two days ago, this car caught my attention. License plate was the only place that was covered with snow 😉

carFeb

Posted in Cee’s Odd Ball Photo Challenge, photo | 19 Comments

Happy Valentine’s Day!

loveVs

My husband enjoys having new things. I, on the other hand, only buy things when I need them. Quite often our conversation goes like this.

“We should buy new trash cans.”
“Why? What’s wrong with the ones we have?”
“We have been using those for more than 20 years!”
“So? They are not broken and still serve the purpose.”
“They look ugly. I saw some on Internet that look really nice.”
“Come on, how often do you look at trash cans?”
… (It went on and on.)

At the end, 50 percent of the time, I gave in. After all, the poor guy has lived with those ugly trash cans for 20 years. Twenty years is a long time.

Apparently, he has figured out that I often softened when he mentioned the magic words “20 years”. One day, he said, “I need buy new shoes.” Pointing at his shoes, he continued, “I have been wearing these shoes for more than 20 years. As a matter of fact, I think I wore them when we got married! “

I got a little confused. “Didn’t you buy a pair of shoes last week? And another pair a month ago?”

“Yes,” he said. Grinning, he added, “But this pair I am wearing now is more than 20 years old!”

I laughed, and he did too. I was happy that we were able to laugh at the differences between us.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Posted in Memoir, Writing | 23 Comments