Writing 101, Day Nine: Changing Moccasins — Point of View

Writing 101, Day Nine: Changing Moccasins — Point of View

Today’s assignment: A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. Write this scene.

Today’s twist: write the scene from three different points of view: from the perspective of the man, then the woman, and finally the old woman.

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(I like this exercise. The following is written from the men’s POV. I will try to write the story from the other two POV on Sat. and Sun. 😉

A Small Red Sweater – Man’s POV

It is a nice day. Jim’s heart is pounding hard. A week ago, Amy told him she was pregnant. This morning, Jim asked Amy to come to the park. Everything is going according to his plan; he is holding Amy’s hand taking her to the rose garden and five minutes later, next to beautiful yellow roses – Amy’s favorite, he will propose to the woman he loves and soon, they will have a happy family.

Jim nods to the old woman who is sitting on the bench. She is Mom’s age, he thinks to himself. A silly thought comes to his mind: maybe he can invite the old woman to his wedding. He smiles at the woman. Wait. Something catches his eyes… a small red sweater. It looks just like the one his baby sister was wearing when she was buried.

Jim has never told anyone that his baby sister died while he was babysitting her. His parents told him it was not his fault. “Sudden infant death syndrome,” they said. He had no idea what that was; he was only nine.

Suddenly sadness overwhelms Jim. He wishes his parents were here at this moment. He has been alone for too long. He wants to tell his parents that they still have a son and they will have a daughter-in-law and a grandchild soon. He begins to cry.

When he finally gets control of himself, he sees a sympathetic look in old woman’s eyes. He turns to Amy, extending his hand to her. Amy seems not knowing what to do. Without saying a word, she starts walking away.

Jim takes another look at the red sweater. He hears himself shouting: “It’s supposed to be a good day!” He doesn’t know whom he is shouting at; all he knows is that he has to tell Amy about his sister. But first he is going to ask her to marry him.

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About Helen C

A retired computer programmer who loves writing and photographing, and has managed to publish a YA novel "Jin-Ling’s Two Left".
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2 Responses to Writing 101, Day Nine: Changing Moccasins — Point of View

  1. Cee Neuner says:

    WOW!!! I want to know the rest of your story.

    Like

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