Last week, in front of many CEOs, a wise friend said, “One mistake many people make is to think YOU as an extension of I. You should like what I like, behave the way I behave, and believe what I believe. That is far from the truth. YOU, actually, is a totally separated individual. YOU has his own thinking, his own personality, even his own look. I should let YOU to be YOU and respect YOU as YOU, not treating YOU like an extension of I.”
He gave us an example. A man has built up his company from nothing. All these years, he goes to work early and comes home late. He seldom takes time off from work, and has missed many of his kids’ school events, if not all. When he hires an employee, he expects the employee to work as hard as he is. “I have given my life to this company. I expect my employee love this company as much as I do and work as hard as I do. I treat my employee as another me.”
But the employee thinks differently. “Feeding my family is the reason for me to take this job. I am hired as a worker and I’ll work as much as you have paid me for. Family time is important for me. Nothing can take my family time away! Besides, this company is your baby, not mine.”
My friend concluded, “Remember, YOU is not equal to I.”
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My friend’s words brought back a lot of memories. I heard my voice saying: “This dish is still dirty. Why can’t you wash dishes like I do?”, “I always turn the light off when I leave a room. Why can’t you do the same?”, “I’ve kept your secret, why can’t you keep mine?”… The voice kept going on.
In my recent comment to Y, I asked, “Why can’t others treat us like the way we treat them?” I know the answer now, Y.
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