These are the chocolates from my daughter. For me, they are not just chocolates; they are more… they are art pieces; they are symbols of loving and caring. I didn’t want to eat any until one day I saw the expiration date. 😉
“(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer.”
― Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper
This morning, I had breakfast at eating counter, sunshine warming my back. Life is good, I thought. Then I pictured my little girl sitting next to me. I placed my arm on the back of her chair; I could almost touch her soft skin and hear her innocent laughter.
Being a mother is my highest calling, which I take seriously.
I often watched a TV talk show while doing my “daily” (supposed to be daily) walking on the treadmill. More than once there were a mother and daughter pair on the show and when the mother said “I did all that (whatever “that” was) for my daughter”, the host responded, “No, you didn’t do that for her; you did it for yourself.”
At this point, the mother, usually, was confused. She said, “She is my daughter! I want to help her.”
The host said, “Come on, you did those things because you wanted to be a good mother. If you didn’t want to be a good mother, you wouldn’t do it. Can’t you see? You were doing those things for yourself.”
(I don’t remember the exact words, but the scenario went on like that.)
As I said, I take the role of being a mother seriously. It’s hard to hear someone else tell me what’s in this mother’s head. It’s particularly hard if this someone has never been a mother “himself”. Giving that he is a well-known and respectful person, I pondered on his words for a while. Even though toward the end I still couldn’t fully agree with him, I began understanding what he was thinking that there is this “me” in everything we are doing.
The show went on. Toward the end, the host looked into the daughter’s eyes and said, “I want to help you. Would you please let me do this (whatever this was) for you?”
Umm… Mr., you don’t mean you are going to do something for her, do you? If we, mothers, only do things for ourselves, how is it possible for anyone does anything not for himself but for someone else?
At this point, I probably should explain something here. I have noticed that for many people logic is like a piece of brick – either they get it or they don’t. For me, I don’t know why, logic is like a brick wall and if any brick piece doesn’t line up perfectly, I get confused. So, I am not trying to criticize the host; I simply need an explanation.
The sun is still shining. I ate the last piece of chocolate… so yummy.
Nothing is better than being a mother.
On second thought, I don’t need any explanation from anyone. I’m blessed, and I am happy, and I know.
(These weekly little thoughts will be rewritten as a letter to my daughter. they will be printed and saved for her. 😉
Thank you for visiting my blog.
HHC Blog 
This sounds so like Dr Phil. It really bugs me when people try to tell me why I do what I do. I love that you are writing letters to your daughter, Helen. And that you ate the chocolate before it expired. 😀
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You got it, Lois. 😉 I switched to a different channel now. 😉
I didn’t know that it is better to eat those fancy chocolates within two weeks. The ones I bought (much cheaper ones) would last for at least 6 months. But these did taste better.
Have a great evening.
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Think about it, Helen, the psychology behind doing. It’s true that we do this ‘things’ first all of all for ourselves. I learnt this when I was going through the “awareness” moments of life. Anthony de Mello and Krishnamurti constantly talked about this. If you want to delve into this borrow the book “Awareness” from the library. Perpetua ps I hate the show Dr. Phil or Ophra or Chopra.
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You mean we do it for ourselves with a purpose of benefiting someone else? 😉
Like I said, I do, somewhat, understand that theory. But I like to see it being used constantly. If he said, “please let me do this for myself ” I wouldn’t have any problem at all. Ha.
I started watching other shows now 😉
Have a wonderful day for my not so ordinary friend. 😉
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According to Awareness by Anthony de Mello “…ordinarily everything we do is in our self-interest. Everything.” I will omit the religion part. “When we are doing something for the love of anybody, it is in for our self-interest.” What we are actually doing is for our benefit, we think it’s for their benefit. The benefit is love. But if we do it so that we won’t have bad feeling, then you are doing it out of guilt (no love involve)
Thanks for your thoughts, otherwise, I would have not tasted how pleasurable those chocolates were. Pleasant days, Helen. Love Perpetua
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Thanks, Perpetua. It makes more sense when you said it. Definitely it’s love, not guilt. Ha.
Have a great day.
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How nice of you to write to your daughter! Thanks to social media, smart phones, people don’t really write, but “text” these days, i wish someone could write to me… 😦
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Thanks, Edward. What’s your address?
I am kidding 😉
There are something we can not change, and some we can. Maybe it’s time fo start writing to someone you care. Yes?
I wrote to my dad almost all my life, until phone became more popular. Two or three years before he passed away, I noticed he had hard time hearing so I started writing to him again. It was good!
.
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I like writing postcards to my friends when travelling, but writing letters is different. You are absolutely correct, I should start writing letters to my people whom I care. 🙂
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Good Sunday morning to you, Helen. These chocolates are very special.
Mothers don’t think why because mothering is not a logical thing. It just when kids are ready to detach from mother to develop their own identity, but mothers are not ready. We, as a mother, don’t know when to let it go, no logic there either. In that sense, maybe (just maybe) we are doing for ourselves. Btw, I have never watched Dr. P show.
Thank your for the story, Helen!
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Good afternoon, Amy. I love what you said that “mothering is not a logical thing.” That makes a lot of sense! No wonder how hard I tried, I couldn’t figure out a program (like a computer program) to handle this mothering thing. Ha.
Have a great day.
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An excellent essay. Thanks!
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Thanks, Robin. It’s definitely a good way to practice writing English.
Have a wonderful day.
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Thank you for sharing your love letters to your daughter. They are so from the heart.
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Thank you so much for your comment. I don’t know how others feel. I think most of us don’t communicate enough nowadays. Writing letter is my way of catching up what I didn’t have a chance to say. 😉
Have a wonderful day.
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