Some people are very good in saying something at any situation; I am not one of them. Many times in my life I felt disappointed at myself for keeping my mouth shut when I wanted and should say something.
My sister Karin always dressed nicely; I, on the other hand, prefer comfortable clothes. After chemo, Karin lost all her hair. She started wearing a wig wherever she went. I knew how uncomfortable she felt on hot humid summer days, so I kept telling her to wear a scarf instead. I even wore one myself several times just to show her it didn’t look bad. She was finally ready to give it a try.
We went out for breakfast at a restaurant where she and my brother-in-law went often. A waiter, who had worked there for a long time and knew them well, stopped by our table to chat. After telling Karin about his recent family trip, he laughed and pointed at Karin’s head and said, “What are you wearing on your head? A scarf? Why? I have never seen you wear –” He stopped after he, apparently, realized what was going on. He stood there, didn’t know what to do.
Karin put on a brave smile, but I knew she was about to cry.
I desperately wanted to say something to ease the situation. I remember frantically searching for words, but my brain failed on me.
Karin had passed away for more than a year. From time to time, I dreamed that I did say something on that day.