Yesterday was Chinese New Year. Happy Chinese New Year!
We have a cold winter this year. Windy and cold. The day before yesterday I saw several groups of Canadian Geese flying northwest. Did they know something I didn’t? Had their leader made a mistake? I felt like shouting to them: “South is that way!” My husband told me they were looking for open water. He convinced me that they knew more than I did – I wasn’t surprised.
My sister Karin often comes to my mind: I want to ask her how she makes sticky rice cake; I want to tell her about my new project; I want to hear her happy and confident voice.
I ask JT if she has ever had a desire to go somewhere by herself. “I mean somewhere no one can find you,” I add. She says yes. I am relieved that I am somewhat normal. I have given some thoughts on why someone wants to be alone. It could be there is a creative thing that is eager to come out, so this person wants to be alone to focus on creating the thing. It could be someone feeling hurt and being alone is the way to protect oneself so she can have a speedy recovery. It also could be this person is having a minor depression. Unfortunately, some times, you don’t know which one fits the current situation.
In the meantime, I continue working on my happiness project. I stayed up late last night finishing reading chapter 2 (Feb. – Remember Love). Yes, I am one of those who always wait until the last day to study for exams 😉 To my surprise, even though I was half asleep when I read the chapter, I still managed to learn several things. Not to mention I almost skipped this chapter because I didn’t think it would help me in any way.
February
- Quit nagging
I don’t usually nag other people, but I sure nag myself a lot, which is also not good.
- Don’t expect praise or appreciation
I don’t expect praise or appreciation from others, but I can be more generous in offering praise and appreciation to others, particularly to those who need them.
- Fight right
- No dumping
I learned: “Men and women both turn to women for understanding.” And “The most reliable predictor of not being lonely is the amount of contact with women.”
- Give proofs of love
I learned: “There is no love; but there are only proofs of love.”
I also learned: “There’s no evidence for the belief that ‘letting off steam’ is healthy or constructive.” And “Not expressing anger often allows it to disappear without leaving ugly traces.”
I am not done cleaning the house yet, but it does look much better and I am happy for it. I guess I can recommend the book now. 😉
I enjoy your reading and reading your writing! ^^
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not sure how I missed this. It must be my didn’t-want-to-talk period. Ha. I do have those periods from time to time. (Haven’t written my 2018 Christmas cards yet ;-( Not sure what is the best way to overcome this problem.
Have a great day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I remember in the 60’s or 70’s there was a trend to “express your anger”. Anger is so utterly destructive, and, as you note here, it goes away. I liked your words ” without leaving the ugly traces” I wonder how many marriages were ruined in that time period by this advice?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmm… I wasn’t aware of the trend. Usually, I would try to wait a couple of days and then go back to discuss the issue. I don’t like express anything when I am angry, because I may say something I didn’t intend to say. Of course, sometime, I couldn’t hold that long. Ha.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Living in San Francisco, it was a very big concept with the “human potential” movement.
LikeLiked by 1 person