Four years ago, my sister Karin passed away. I lost one of my best friends.
I have written several stories about Karin. This one happened after she beat her first cancer in 2003.
* * *
When our eyes met in the bathroom mirror, Karin jolted, her hands moving up and down as if she was trying to hide something. What was she trying to hide? For a second, I thought, maybe she’d lost her mind.
“What’s the matter?” I asked, and cautiously stepped forward.
She slowly put her hands down, smiling sheepishly, and then looked into the mirror again. “Since I had chemo, no one has seen me without a wig, not even your brother-in-law,” she said.
I knew she had been wearing a wig since the day she lost her hair, but she had completed her chemo treatment two months ago and her hair had grown back two inches.
“You look great,” I said. “Most people like to keep their hair short in the summer. If I didn’t have a flat spot on the back of my head, I would cut my hair short, too,” I said.
She looked at me suspiciously. “Really?”
I combed her baby-soft hair with my fingers. “Really. I wouldn’t lie to you. You don’t need a wig; your hair looks great.”
“Really?” she asked again, studying her hair in the mirror. “Do you really think I look okay?”
“You look great! How many times do you want me to tell you?”
She took another look at her image in the mirror. She smiled.
Turning toward me, she put her arm on my shoulder. Together, we walked out the room.
* * *
It is also my daughter’s birthday. Having a wonderful daughter is such a blessing (I am sure a lot of you know what I mean.) More stories to come, I am sure 😉
* * *
Today, one half of me is sad, the other half is happy. I mean very sad and very happy.
Life is temporary. Have you figured that out yet?
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Everything in life is temporary Helen. Only yourself is permanent. So it’s important not to lose yourself. We just have to cherish the good times that’s all. So its very important to make good memories. 🙂
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Thank you, Raj. Your words brought me some comfort. Thank you, my friend. Some years are better than this. But for sure I will feel fine soon.
>> We just have to cherish the good times that’s all.
So true. At least we had had good time together. Thanks for reminding me.
Good night.
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Lovely post … indeed, life is temporary. Thank you for sharing your story.
Isadora
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Thank you, Isadora. I don’t mind life is temporary. I just wish we could all go at the same time. 😉 (I guess that has drawbacks too.)
Have a wonderful day.
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This was a beautiful post, Helen. This is going to sound selfish, but when I started chemo last year, the first thing I asked my doctor was, “Am I going to lose my hair?” They have done so much research on chemo from even a few years ago, so I am told I am lucky my diagnosis was when it was. My doctor’s response to my question was, “No.” I breathed a sigh of relief.
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It’s not selfish. I am very happy for you. While Karin was fighting for her cancer, her friend found out she had cancer, too. And her friend’s didn’t lose any hair. We were happy for her friend. We did ask Karin’s Dr about this. Apparently it depends on what kind of cancer. Interesting discovery.
Have a wonderful day. Take care.
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Happy Birthday to your daughter. I’m sorry for your loss.
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Thank you Brenda. For some reason, this year is not easy. But I am quite okay now — friends like you helps a lot. 😉
Have a wonderful day.
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Some losses are harder to reconcile than others. Some we feel, every day, the rest of our lives. Eventually, though, they become a blessing, because you realize how fortunate you were to have that love while it lasted. Not everyone has that. I lost my mom at age 4, and she will always be a goddess to me. Giver of all things, immensely tall, capable of making everything all right. Generous and loving. I am lucky to know what having that feels like. I’ve had a long time to reach this place, though. I lost my sister and brother, too, but I’m not sure I’ve reconciled with that. You shouldn’t have to.
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Thank you so much, Brenda. It’s nice when someone really understands and cares. After my parents passed away in 2001, Karin was like a combined mother, sister and best friends to me. After she passed away, sometime I feel very alone. Not necessary lonely, but alone. Life definitely was much better when she was around 😉 I miss her.
Thanks for listening, Brenda. My nephew (Karin’s son) called me today and we had a nice chat.
Good night.
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I feel alone often, but I have chosen people to be in my life who are terrific. We need our connections. You sound like you have good ones. Hold them close. XOXO
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Thanks, Brenda. Yes, I do have some good friends. I usually don’t stay down for too long 😉 Not to worry. Thank you so much!
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My pleasure to really connect. It’s rare. Thank you right back.
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happy and sad; coming and going; light and darkness; sun and snow; permanent and impermanent … Life.
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所以放下我執應該不是那麼難吧!
Good night.
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Thank you so much for sharing … happy birthday to your daughter. So sorry for your loss ..
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Thank you, Julie.
Have a wonderful day.
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