This is the second scheduled post. If it works according to the plan, it will be posted on Mar. 2, 2017. My mom passed away on Mar. 2, 2001.
No matter what I do to move on from this pain, deep down inside I will always know that I’ll never get to hug my mom again.
–WishesMessages.com
I grew up in a no-hug family. In fact, I don’t remember seeing anyone hug someone before coming to U.S.. I guess it was our culture back then.
When I was in high school, one day my mom took me to see a movie. While waiting for the movie to start, she suddenly hugged me. It was an awkward hug, coming with a force that almost could be qualified as an attack. It was clear that she had no idea how and it was also clear that deep down she wanted to hug her kid badly. I was in shock. Before knowing what was going on, I pushed her away. And I’ve regretted ever since.
Mom never tried hugging me after that. It was after I was 40, living in America for almost twenty years that I started hugging my parents when I visited them in Maryland. For dad, hugging was quick and short. If I hugged him a little longer, Dad would gently push me away, saying, “That’s enough.” I had a feeling that he didn’t want me getting emotional.
Mom giggled when I hugged her. She was the one who didn’t let go. She hugged with a noticeable strength. Sometime, I felt as if she wanted me back into her womb.
After Mom passed away, once in a while, I would extend my arms upward to the sky, eyes closing, reliving the hugging moments we had had… that’s the only thing I could do now.
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HHC Blog 
A very heartwarming account, Helen. I think though you pushed your mum away when she hugged you, she must have been very happy to have hugged you anyway 🙂 I too grew up in a no-hugging family. It was seen as weak, and my parents would rather I be able to stand up on my own. But I do like hugs and welcome one any day. Love changes and the way we express it changes too over time 🙂
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Thanks, Mabel. My mom was quite surprised when I pushed her away. I was surprised, too, didn’t expect that reaction from myself 😉 I don’t know how to react well when something happens suddenly. Hugs, Helen
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Mothers understand our quirky traits as we’re growing. I miss mine as well. We need to hold onto the good memories!
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Thanks, GP. You were so right. I used to feel that my mom didn’t understand me. Then one day I realized that it was I who didn’t understand her. It took some growing-up to get things right. 😉
Have a great day.
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Helen–this both breaks my heart and warms it at the same time. My dad’s side of the family is Italian so kisses and hugs were a huge part of my growing up, but not on my mom’s side. Strange about our mothers, isn’t it?
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Hello, Lois. How are you?
I think I had gone in a circle: don’t hug in the beginning, then hug everyone, then think before hugging anyone … 😉 Why everything has to be so complicated??? ;-( I am still trying to find the right balance. Ha.
Have a great day.
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Helen, heartfelt and a tribute to the relationships that we have with our mothers. I like the hands raised to the heavens ritual to honor and remember your mother.
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Thanks, Sally. Sixteen years later, I miss her just as much as the day I lost her, which is a blessing in a way.
Have a wonderful day.
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Well written story. I think the kids grow up in a non hug family feel the security and happiness no less than others. coincidentally, I was thinking how my brother always hugs me and I felt like to write a story. 🙂
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Thanks, Amy. I can’t wait to read your story!!! I hope I didn’t miss it (due to the traveling…)
What I don’t know, usually, don’t hurt me. Since I grew up in a non hug family, I had no idea what hugging was, so I didn’t miss it a bit 😉
Have a great day.
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I am so glad you still get hugs from your mom. I know not the same, but the love is still there.
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Thanks, Cee. Oh, if I think hard, the hug is still the same 😉 ha ha…
Hope you are doing well. Have a wonderful day.
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A short but touching and heartwarming story. It reminds me that I shouldn’t take everything for granted. Same as you, I grow up from a no-hug family, maybe this is part of of East-Asian culture. I should try and hug my mother.
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Thanks, Edward. Well… did you hug your mom? And how did it go? 😉
Thinking back, I honestly believe that hugging made us closer, so I would encourage you to go for it. 😉 Life is short. ;-(
Have a great day.
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What a shame…I thought of hugging her, I’m too shy to do that, and I just want to find an excuse or occasion to do so…
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Mother’s Day is around the corner… 😉
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Great idea, thanks! 😊
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What a lovely thing to do! I’m sure she’ll be beaming at you when you send your hugs up to the heavens. It’s a long, long time for me since I had a Mum to hug. Funnily enough, Dad was the more demonstrative one. 🙂 🙂
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Thanks, Jo. Somehow I have a picture of your dad hugs you in my head. And that makes me feel good!
I think… if we close our eyes, we can hug anyone ;-).
Have a great day.
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Absolutely! 🙂 🙂 You too, Helen.
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Dear Helen, touching words, the same with my family, no hugs and no feelings demonstrations. I suffered with this lack of affection, so now with my kids I hug them all the time. Have a lovely week and hugs to you!
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Thanks, Elizabeth. I, too, hugged my kid like crazy. One day she told me it was too many hugs. I asked, “What’s wrong with that?” She said, “Come on, mom, you just hugged me 30 seconds ago.” Well, I had to learn to control myself. Ha.
Hugs, Helen.
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